April 2011

Illegal Use of Pom Poms

Long Beach Cheerleaders infiltrated by Darth Vader and ChewbaccaCalifornia State University, Long Beach was forced to forfeit its national cheerleading  championship after it was revealed that some of the squad members were not students. Coach Eric Anderson was fired after the improprieties came to light. The 49ers won their title April 10, at the college championships in Daytona Beach, Florida.   

The Comeback of Brandon Davies

brandon davies wearing photoshopped "I can't I'm Mormon" shirtBrandon Davies, the third leading scorer and top rebounder for BYU, was dismissed from the team late in the season for violating the university's honor code (consensual sexual activity with girlfriend), but plans to return next season. Only Davies will know if abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.  

A Possible Endorsement Deal For Spurrier & the Gamecocks

A can of Genuine Gamecock Premium BeerAs the University of South Carolina football team wound up spring practice, head coach Steve Spurrier gave each of his players a workout plan for the summer. But, he admits he doesn't know if his program will be followed. "We have tried to inform our players as to what they need to do before fall practice", said Spurrier.  "Some guys do it and some go drink beer all summer."

Where College Football Is Truly King

Alabama Fan in stands with painted chest and jortsOne of the rites of April, the college football spring game took place on university campuses throughout the nation and it was clear where the most interest was, the South. The Alabama scrimmage led all others with an attendance of more than 92,000. The rest of the top five included Nebraska (66,000), Florida State (53,000), Auburn (53,000), and Florida (51,000).  Other notable crowds attended games at Texas (29,000), Notre Dame (27,000), and Oklahoma (25,000). Out West, USC drew 15,000 fans and conference rival Arizona was near the bottom of the list with a "crowd" of 4,500.     

The Bengals are in familiar territory

Thursday night, the Cincinnati Bengals own the 4th pick in the NFL Draft. If it seems like the Bengals are always drafting high, it's because they are. Since 1992, the Bengals have picked 10th or higher a whopping 13 times.

 

Diving With the Predators

photo mashup of Nashville Predators diving into a poolThe Nashville Predators ousted the Anaheim Ducks 4-2 in the first round of the NHL Playoffs. After the defeat, Ducks GM Bob Murray accused Nashville players of flopping down on the ice to try and draw penalties.  Answered Nashville assistant coach Brent Peterson, "We go to the rink to practice our five-on-fives and power play and then we go to a pool to practice diving".

The Worst of Times for the Broncos

ESPN’s Ed Werder noted that the Denver Broncos picking second in Thursday’s NFL Draft marks the highest selection ever for this storied NFL franchise. This position high atop the draft took place after Denver’s miserable 4-12 season in 2010. Bronco legend John Elway is now overseeing the team, after being named executive vice president of football operations. The all-time NFL great quarterback and Colorado institution hopes to return a championship way of life to the Mile High City. Elway played in five Super Bowls, winning two world championships. Elway’s first order of business was hiring former Carolina Panthers head coach John Fox to be the Broncos head man. Ironically, the Panthers will be drafting first in Thursday’s draft, just ahead of the Broncos.

A False Start For Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis starting race with "No" symbol overlaySprinter Carl Lewis won nine Olympic gold medals and at age 49, he had hoped to embark on a different kind of running. Lewis had entered the Democratic primary for state legislature in his hometown of Willingboro, New Jersey. He had hoped to run against Republican incumbent Dawn Marie Addiego in November. After much legal wrangling, state election officials have determined Lewis ineligible, because he failed to meet the Garden State’s residency requirements. He also owns a home in Pacific Palisades, California.

Tom Schieffer Has Already Dealt With a Dictator

Earlier Wednesday, Tom Schieffer was introduced to the Los Angeles media during a press conference at the Westin Los Angeles Airport Hotel. Schieffer has been appointed monitor of the Dodgers by MLB commissioner Bud Selig, after baseball chose to obtain control of the team from embattled owner Frank McCourt.  Along with working as president of the Texas Rangers, Schieffer has also served as US ambassador to both Australia and Japan.

When asked if he had any concerns about building a working relationship with the McCourts, Schieffer jokingly uttered,          “I’ve dealt with the North Koreans.”  

Another Snake at Dodger Stadium

snake wearing dodgers cap carrying nachos and drinkThere was a ton of security at Dodger Stadium during last week’s homestand, and still an unwelcome intruder was found crossing the outfield during batting practice. LA reliever Matt Guerrier witnessed a snake slithering alongside St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter.  Two other Cardinals would go on to capture the reptile and carry it out to their bullpen. This isn't the first time a snake has been seen at Chavez Ravine, as they are native to the local hillsides. Guerrier added that he had two snakes as pets in college and that this snake wasn't very big although "I wouldn't go around here picking them up". 

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