First I should say this: Pittsburgh - underrated. The city was beautiful and the women, even moreso. My friends and I were bar hopping for a buddy's bachelor party when in stormed this group of gigantic men all wearing camouflaged shirts with a "No Left Turn" sign on the front. We were confused, so I went up to ask one of the guys about the shirts.

"No left turns in Pittsburgh, dude," he commanded.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Our boy Ben got lit up by some old lady. Stupid bitch," as he finished his beer.

I somehow looked around him to see Ben Roethlisberger and remembered that he had been hit on his motorcycle at an intersection. This must be what that dude was talking about. I went back and explained to my friends, and they were impressed. Dude had just won the Super Bowl last year! It was cool...but there was more.

Later in the evening we made our way to a gentlemen's club of sorts. One of my closest friends is very shy, so of course we got him a lap dance. As he walks upstairs with the girl, who do we see but Ben Roethlisberger walking inside. I said hey and he ignored me. I would probably do the same thing. We turned back to watch the entertainment.

About four minutes later our buddy comes back and sits next to us.

"What happened?!?" we yelled. "Did you puss out?" We were especially angry since we spent $40 on him.

"No man," he replied, "like two minutes into it the girl leaves, then comes back and says 'Sorry sweetie, I got a football player who wants a dance. I'll have to cut this short.' So I left."

We went nuts. Ben Roethlisberger had stolen our friend's lapdance! Luckily, we did not fight him because he would have smashed us.