On a chilly Vegas winter night, I was prepared fully...to have my third eye opened by the rock band known as Tool! December 14th would mark the very final show of a long promotional tour of their last album, 10,000 days. It was sure to be one of the sweetest concerts in the history of music...and I had a motherf*&kin ticket!!!!!

I had never been to Las Vegas before, and neither had my girlfriend Emily, so we were crazy excited about the trip. We had been in Vegas for about 4 days the day of the show. The skull-splitting show was to take place at a venue called The Pearl, which is inside the famed Palms Casino. The entire night was too surreal, too perfect. The show was so good, I have no way of even beginning to put it into words. After the show, my girlfriend ran back into the venue because she had forgotten a chain accessory, that apparently they thought she was just gonna raise hell with! I told her I would wait outside for her and have a smoke.

As I spark up my ciggarette I hear a gaggle of laughing women. I look to my left and there he was! It was freakin' Robin Leach, sandwiched between two skanks he had on each arm. I took a double-take and he looked at me, with his glassy boozed-up eyes. I desperately wanted to believe he was at the Tool show, singin' along with his goofy voice to lyrics like "Not enough! Need More...Nothing seems to satisfy! I don't want it, I just need it, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive!" Wouldn't that rule?!