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Jared Allen needs to bring back the mullet lifestyle

Jared Allen“The mullet isn’t just a hairdo, it is definitely a lifestyle.”

Prior to the 2010 season, this quote was the all-encompassing credo of Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen. For the last several years, the gregarious All-Pro boastfully paraded his signature style on the gridiron, in the media and throughout his private life, both in Minnesota and while at his offseason home in Scottsdale, Arizona. This level of bravado made him one of the most feared players in all of pro football. 

Unfortunately for Viking fans, Allen’s appearance and on field productivity have grown far less interesting during this very disappointing season. The man who averaged 12 sacks per season, during his six-year career and a whopping 15 sacks over the last three seasons, has only compiled one QB crunch in seven games this season.  

While the trials and tribulations of Brett Favre, Randy Moss and Brad Childress have dominated Minnesota’s soap opera storyline, the lack of production from Allen has absolutely been a major factor in the team’s struggles.

You know what else is different this season for number 69?  Jared Allen no longer possesses his legendary locks of hair. During the offseason, Allen chose to clean up his act in honor of his marriage to now wife Amy. 

In the below 2009 video, courtesy of the NFLPA, Allen laid out a timetable for when he would consider changing his look.

“I might cut it (the mullet) at some point, when I die,” exclaimed Allen.

A few short months later, the mullet and Allen’s sack credentials have both gone missing. For the sake of his teammates and fans, it might be in everyone’s best interest for Allen to cancel his regularly scheduled trips to the hair salon.    

The mullet lifestyle needs to make a comeback for the Vikings season to have any chance of making a comeback of its own during the final nine games of this campaign.

 

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Comments and Replies

Sandy's picture

You sure his new wife's name isn't Delilah? 

Jon Rapoport has spent his career working on all sides of the media and sports industry. He began his career at ESPN in studio production at the ESPN headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut. While there, he won an Emmy for his contribution to "SportsCenter." Following his tenure at ESPN, Jon relocated to Los Angeles, joining the staff of the “Best Damn Sports Show” on FOX Sports Net.

Upon leaving the show, Jon worked in Web site and sports radio show development/production, with Major League Baseball in media operation logistics for the World Baseball Classic and on behalf of Los Angeles’ effort to bring the 2016 Summer Olympics back to Southern California. Jon currently writes a political blog for the Los Angeles edition of Examiner.com.

Born and raised in Plymouth, Minnesota (just outside of Minneapolis), Jon is an avid sports fan, particularly for his beloved Minnesota teams. Jon graduated from the University of Maryland, College Park, where he earned his BA in communication and interned for ABC’s “Good Morning America” in New York City and Washington D.C. He is married and resides in Los Angeles.  

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